Understand Why

Kendall Isaac • December 20, 2025

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Whether mediating, investigating, or serving as an ombudsperson trying to help resolve a dispute, one of the most important things to understand is why. By this I mean, why did the parties do/say what they did?! Understanding motivation can help understand how to ultimately resolve disputes. 

Feet standing on a walkway with

One day I was talking to a divorce lawyer, and she was talking about why the work is so challenging (indeed, they tend to have the highest lawyer malpractice insurance rates because their clients are rarely happy - regardless of the outcome). Win, lose or draw, the client has had their world turned upside down. Divorces can turn normally sane and logical people very irrational. It all boils down to our comfort zones being challenged, and our sense of safety and security being threatened. 


The same is true for other types of disputes as well - particularly in the workplace. Think about it, perhaps the only area more closely tied to our sense of self and well-being than our families are our careers. When our financial security is threatened, or perhaps our sense of self-determination in our workday impeded or maybe our reputation tarnished, we can sometimes act in very irrational ways. It is incumbent upon the person trying to help resolve the dispute to understand the 'why' behind how the disputing parties arrived at their current conflict, crossroad or impasse. 


Asking questions to help ascertain what aspects of life have been threatened can help formulate potential paths to amicably resolving the dispute. Be inquisitive, and do not be quick to pass judgment or proclaim a person guilty simply to close the case. The person may very well be guilty of breaking a policy or behavioral expectation, but that does not necessarily mean they are a bad person in need of sharp discipline. Get to the 'why' first and then make a sound decision on how best to move forward. You may just be surprised how much better of an outcome you can help produce when you pause just long enough to truly understand!


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